You start inviting him places and giving him expensive gifts, even though he feels uncomfortable receiving them because he knows they aren’t “free” .
You PULL him toward you with smothering behavior in order to ease your anxiety about losing him. Suddenly, an invitation to a fancy, home-cooked dinner at your place or a few “How’s everything going?” texts throughout the day, start to make him feel trapped and smothered.
You feel more aggressive inside than soft and sweet , more hysterical in your gut than calm and tender in your heart.
A man can tell the difference between when you are doing things FOR HIM… and when you are doing things FOR YOU and disguising them as things for HIM.
We want to share it all with you , ALONG with innovative approaches to taking care of YOU better and being more dynamic around men, in order to repair this issue in your love life immediately! “ These books have been the savior of my self-esteem.
It was only after years of feeling like we had to work hard to earn a man’s love, by doing things for him that were pushing him FURTHER away, that we realized the difference between “giving to get” and what we call Love-Based Giving .
I never before understood how to truly connect and share with a man. This system has taught me how to love from a place of child-like wonder and fascination with my partner.
If you wished to be loved; love! -Seneca Look, we both were also masters of pushing men away by not listening to what they needed from us… Kristina couldn’t hear her husband’s cries for space and trust because she didn’t want space and already had his trust.
The more desperate, greedy, needy, scared, angry, forlorn you feel because of a man or because of love in general, the more you STOP caring about any man’s wellbeing and start getting crafty about snagging him.
You start worrying too much about what you wear with him or how clean your house is when he comes over, and you start resenting him for it by getting stressed out and bitchy, instead of relaxing and enjoying him like he wants you to.
Once we started trusting and doing things for men out of the kindness of our hearts and NOT doing anything for a man that would make us feel powerless if he didn’t respond exactly the way we wanted him to , EVERYTHING turned around for us and our love lives became something of romance novels and fairytales.
You stop respecting his need for space and start calling more often than you did when he WAS calling more.
Sarah was so filled with her own insecurities and anxieties about dating that she would worry so much, while on a date, if a man was liking her and satisfying HER need for HIS approval, that she couldn’t give him any of her quality attention.
It was unbelievable the way men were responding to us and now we want to share it all with you. We both have HUGE insight into this idea of stopping “Giving to Get” behavior… and we know HOW to soothe your feelings, build your faith in him and help you communicate your emotional needs in order to make room for HIS NEEDS in your heart.
She was cooking men meals and taking charge of plans for dates BUT was doing it with a motivation of desperation over mutual enjoyment , that was making men actually feel LESS calm and more unhappy in her presence.
The more you are over-flowing with your own out-of-control anxiety to fix things between you and a man, the less room you have in your heart for his feelings, needs, wants, etc.